#but doesnt know the first thing about what to do with them or how to get them across in a way that's socially acceptable ESPECIALLY WITH

[akascow]

UGHHH the way viktor was afraid of people forgetting his accomplishments and how his memory will be short lived only for it to ACTUALLY HAPPEN is SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

because he was never included in the hextech credits, his name isnt as publically known and ppl will only see him as That One Guy who started a cult and tried to take over the world or smth (IF that. like do most people even know thats viktor in there or is it just another Piltover’s nameless baddie of the week to them… sad)

and the FEW people who knew him and his contribution to hextech are either just dead or probably saw him as a villain as their last memory of him, was he even worth saving in their mind??

the ONLYYYY person who understood him and loved him for who he was (other than sky ofc, who also died lmao) was taken with him in death, so viktor’s story wont even live on in honor for how he truly was and what he really stood for, bc jayce is the only one who can accurately describe him post-mortem

and people will probably think jayce (THE GOLDEN BOY, MAN OF PROGRESS in the eyes of piltover) died trying to fight him bc no one knows what their conversation was about before they went out, or how jayce was willing to sacrifice himself too because he shares blame in it all, so theyll likely just villainize viktor for that as well, 'the one who killed jayce talis- creator of hextech'

and no one is alive to mourn him :( so fucking depressing

also i dont blame jayce for 'taking all the credit' like some people do lol ive seen ppl say he was egotistical and taking it all in for himself and pushing viktor aside, but he literally always says viktor is his partner and never implies that HE ALONE developed hextech or that hes the sole creator in it all

like its always been 'OUR inventions' and 'my PARTNER' and 'WE created this' whenever jayce talks about hextech. he literally corrects viktor from "your [jayce's] hextech dream" to "our hextech dream" the very first night they partner up bc, despite knowing this man for maybe 4 hours max, he already recognizes the importance of their partnership and that hes not the sole idea-man in this project anymore

i think that whole negative idea was probably developed from jayce signing every single page in his notes,, but itd make more sense to me that he'd do that- not out of arrogance- but he might share the same fear that viktor has: in being forgotten for his work... so he signs every page making sure no one can take a piece out of context and pass it as their own years down the line, or erase the possibility that forget the origin of the creator, especially in a world where a species like yordels are seemingly immortal, names hold a lot of weight as time withers tangible things away

and im assuming jayce recognizes that the fact that being from the undercity could have easily silenced viktor's ideas and contributions in the eyes of the public, and jayce doesnt want to diminish his work towards it. two very important lines jayce hears from viktor that night are "do you think i want to spend my whole life as an assistant" and "a poor kid from the undercity, no one believed in me, i was an outcast the moment i stepped foot in piltover" and he probably took those to heart (paraphrasing those quotes bc i have the memory of a goldfish or smth)

i feel like its moreso piltover to blame (? imo) lmao they set up jayce as the golden boy, and piltover is all about names and status and wealth. they very obviously discriminate against zaunites (and viktor himself states that too) like yeah we dont see the whole process of The Man of Progress being made,, BUT viktor expresses how he doesnt want to go out in front of people in Progress Day, so jayce is very much just respecting his wishes and boundaries to not drag him up there when hes clearly uncomfortable at the thought yk?

viktor might also recognize himself that piltover will use his knowledge as a celebrity idol for people to look at rather than as an actual scientist for people to acknowledge and appreciate. he wants to be known for what he did, not a soulless face for people to gawk at. makes sense tho, irl u usually dont remember celebrity actions unless theyre negative, but you do remember scientist's accomplishments rather than what they look like

ppl bring up the hexgate blueprints at the end and how it only has Jayce's name on it as another argument and idk i feel like it has multiple things to stem off that before getting to the 'jayce took credit for everything' idea?

maybe they were changed after the whole cult incident, like viktor's name taken off, which yeah thats obviously depressing in itself. i think its more likely bc piltover wont want their whole gimmick to be associated with that incident, rather than jayce purposefully leaving viktor's name out of it... thats probably the strongest explanation imo. we gotta remember viktor is quite literally jayce's best friend- do you really think jayce would take away his best friend's accomplishments like that? lets be real yall HAHA

my own guess is that jayce was actually the sole designer in the hexgate design, and while they can share custody, maybe viktor doesnt take credit for things that werent his ? like yeah they worked on the hextech ideas together but it could be more like jayce drew up the plans and viktor helped with the science of it idk, but thatd explain why only jayce's name would be on it (in a non depressing way that kind of makes sense), bc jayce designed the hexgates specifically

maybe viktor didnt want his name on it either bc reasons i said above, tho this is unlikely to me bc he probably wouldnt want his name taken off if he was scared about legacy erasure,, but these are just theories idk

anyway i think blaming jayce for viktor's erasure is kind of - uhm -stupid because jayce has always made it his goal to not just save viktor but to include viktor every time he brings up hextech in conversation, whether it calls for his mention or not. because jayce knows drilling viktor's name association as co-contributer to hextech into the heads of other people is important, considering viktor's background, and jayce's own current social status as the golden boy: the leverage he holds when he speaks. people will listen lol

[gumisbwunni]

just thinking about the jjk guys getting you christmas presents...

cw: suggestive :)

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like ik Gojo would SPOIL you rotten, like your christmas tree would be STACKED with all the gifts he got you.

what did he get you?

anything youve ever laid your eyes on. Gojo is a good listener and observant, he'd take anything youve mentioned you wanted and add it to his notes app. And the best part is that youre alaays shocked when its an item you kentioned earlier in the year.

Now Nanami, ugh my mannn, i know hed be a good gift giver, though its not as extravagant as Gojo, he would maybe get you maybe like 5 gifts max? but they would all hold so much value.

He seems like the type to gift you a puppy or cat, or like an expensive necklace that hes worked sooo hard for, all that overtime means nothing to him, when sees the way uour eyes light up and your smile so big it makes his heart swell.

Mm next is Getooo, my other man, he'd definitely gift you things you need, like lets say you ran out of favorite perfume, but its too expensive for you at the moment so he'd definitely gift you it. Or maybe you're in need of a new bag or shoes, he wouldnt hesitate to gift them.

lets talk about Toji, hehe, mm id say he would try to save up for christmas but its hard for him :/ like he seems like hed rather give you wtv money so you can just buy what you want, or he'd walk into victorias secret to buy you cute lingerie for you (him)

ouu yesss, he loves buying you lingerie, its his favorite thing to do, bc he gets painfully hard imagining you wearing wtv skimpy thing he buys you.

Hmm, Sukuna, (im thinking of him in a modern au) mm youd def be his first girlfriend so he doesnt know what to get you, he finds it kinda dumb, but he doesnt want you to feel like he doesnt care, he does. He cares so much, that he will buy months prior just to make sure the things you want arent sold out and get on time. He cares so much, that he asks yuji to help him wrap the gifts. He cares SO MUCH, that he writes you handwritten letters, saying how much he loves and appreciates you.

Hm thinking about Megumi, since he didnt inherit his dad's gambling issues, he def have a good money saved up bc of gojo, i like to think gojo couldve given him an allowance, so hed probably gift you some sort of jewelry, or something you'd been wanting for a long ass time. Though hes not good at showing affection, he thinks he deserves the world and would gladly buy you anything youd want.

next up is baby Yuji, ugh hed def get u burr basket :( he'd get you face masks bc he knows how much u love them (he also loves them), he'll get you your favorite snacks, and some cute matching pjs and socks, he'd def write a cute little letter for you :(

He seems like the type to buy anything matching, he just loves it. So hell def buy you and him, matching grinch slippers, ouuu if ur into hello kitty or sanrio, he'd get you anything sanrio, from plushies, jewelry, to mugs. Hesss soo cute :3

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

i cannot express how much i adore the dinner scene in 1x01. i think about it constantly. theres so much covert queercoding for mike that it literally drives me crazy.

the fact that just a bit before this we have the scene with joyce and hop where they imply that they are scared that will has been a victim of a gay hate crime. and throughout the season its implied over and over and no one really seems to give a shit. not even lucas and dustin. they care about will DEEPLY ofc but the fact that most ppl are expecting him to be dead and killed bc hes gay doesnt seem to bother them? the scene where troy is bullshitting about will in the gym they both just stand there, they dont make any move to stop him or call him out. no one does (this isnt me calling lucas and dustin bad ppl or not allys or wtv but u get the point).

mike however does give a shit. he gives QUITE A FEW shits.

in the dinner scene mike is clearly distressed about his friend. which is a perfectly heterosexual thing to do. in general. however hes not straight so its gay when he does it. ANYWAYS. he is clearly distressed about it but his entire family is completely unconcerned. nancy is preoccupied and doesnt give a shit. hollys a baby. ted is well ted. and karen. i need to talk about karen for a sec.

karen ADRESSES that she thinks something bad happened to will by telling nancy she cant go to barbs house until will is found. however she acts very dismissive of wills situation in general. im sure she was worried for him but she does it (or at least expresses it) is a very passive way. she is not focused on will being missing or what may have happened to him, just the fact that something bad happened in general to a person in hawkins.

the fact is, besides mike, karen is the only one worried at all. and shes not even close to matching mikes energy in the slightest.

when mike mentions steve, the conversation is totally derailed from will. as if it wasnt an important conversation in the first place.

nancy storms off. and ted. oh ted you son of a bitch. ted says the classic

"you see what happens"

line. and what a line it is. due to all of the references prior to this and the fact that most ppl believe that somehting bad happened to will. its not hard to see that ted is once again referring to will being hate crimed.

you see what happens when youre gay? bad things happen to you. and then everyone you care about is just inconvenienced. theyre lives are disrupted.

karen glances at ted, clearly understanding what he means. and mike does too.

"what happens when what"

hes not asking. hes angry. and you can just see the exasperation on mikes face the whole scene

why is it not weird for will to go missing. why is no one surprised that something mad happened to him. why is no one else frantic to get him back. why is no one else worried about will. why is it considered normal for this to happen. why arent ppl upset like he is. just bc ppl think will is gay? that makes it all make sense? bullshit.

mike storms downstairs and calls lucas. when trying to convince him to come look for will his argument is the fact that will took a risk to help the party when he could have protected himself. but he didnt.

mike knows what ppl think happened to will. if he just thought will was lost or something looking for him wouldnt be a risk. it would just be an opportunity to find him. but he calls it a risk. will sacrificed something to protect the party (mike) when he could have saved himself from all that suffering. but he didnt. and now mike will do the same for him.

[skellycrows]

dpxdc fantasy au (dead tired)

of course the moment i start posting on here and planning a fic i get sick LMAO. gave me time to start actually watching Danny Phantom though, so i know a bit more about what I'm talking about, which is nice. also finally managed to do a draft design for Tim in this AU, which will get posted sometime soon-ish.

After a bunch (ten minutes) of research I decidedly gave up and have decided to make up my own rules for how Amity Kingdom is going to work structure wise- mainly because getting Tim a way into the court is frustrating if i follow EXACTLY how real royal courts work.

SO!!! In Amity kingdom, the court is all decided by the ruling monarch. That means that even if someone was in the court as say, a duke, for the former ruler (cough cough dark pariah), when the new ruler took the throne their position would not be guaranteed. Danny filling up his court with a mix of fae (ghost equivalent) and humans to advise him- in Amity, the fae generally mingle with the humans. think, lunch lady working in a kitchen of some sort and it being accepted, if just barely. its a fragile balance, getting the two worlds to get along, but due to so much exposure, Amity's citizens aren't impacted by the primal fear and spooky shit as much. because this isn't exactly like pre-established fae creatures, I'm making it up with a mix of myths, and i want them to be off-putting. Also, the human citizens have their own magics and alchemy created specifically to combat and deal with the fae (equivalent of Fenton tech) when necessary, and so... yeah, Danny has Fright Knight teaching the soldiers. Yeah, Ember is a court musician. Yeah, they're both still Different from the human characters.

Amity's throne is also won through right of conquest, and the same is true in the infinite lands- meaning when Dark Pariah ruled over both, whoever beat him would rule over both. This also really fucked with fae-human relationships in Amity, so Danny has his work cut out for him resolving everything, ruling essentially a kingdom and a whole dimension, and having... no training in the slightest. not to mention, a large part of the court had to be stripped of their titles due to plotting against him or just generally not supporting his rule.

So you can imagine how desperate the poor boy is for aid. He has his friends and he has council in the infinite realms that upholds a good deal of the stuff there, but you know what he doesn't have?

Humans that know how to deal with mfing POLITICS. Sam is helpful for activism and agriculture, Tucker is helpful with alchemy, Jazz is helpful with... most things, really, but even she doesn't know how to run a country!!! She's best with organizing humanitarian efforts and healthcare and communication, not the logistics! The only person he knows that has a good grasp on all that stuff is Vlad, and asking Vlad for help is like asking to be manipulated into furthering the bastards agenda. And currently that man's agenda is to steal Danny's throne. The only reason he retained his title (duke? archduke maybe? undecided) when Danny took his throne is that keeping the man there quells a chunk of the people that disapprove of Danny's rule.

Also, again, like him or not, the guy knows what he's doing.

So yeah, when Danny's out on a visit to the city and discovers an outsider boy fighting a group of bandits, of course Danny helps him. (Tim would have been so very fine alone, but the help is appreciated). Protecting people, at least, is something he knows how to do. And then, well, the guy's an OUTSIDER, he doesn't know anything about how to survive in Amity, of course Danny's gonna show him around a bit and teach him some of the rules of survival! And maybe he doesnt mention his title at first, because its nice being treated a bit more normally. (Tim is watching this uncannily beautiful man warily the whole time- because something seems Off about him, about the way he holds himself, about the way the citizens treat him.)

And maybe he lets slip a few things about how the current king is struggling to settle in, and the new boy has an oddly expansive knowledge bank of taxes and trade and handling political factions and disputes and-

Well, Danny feels a bit like he can breathe for the first time in months. Its not perfect advise, of course- Gotham doesn't have the same types of problems as Amity but Ancients! The boy catches on to everything so quickly, and he seems so well equipped, and Danny needs to get him to come to the palace with him. He'd make an excellent advisor-

But maybe he'll just start with offering him a place to stay as a guest.

Tim is both pleased and paranoid when he immediately gets an in with the actual KING because its so convenient for his goals, but things never go this well. Something's Going to give, at some point, but for now he has no choice but to play along. Maybe it'll work out easily after all.

[paingoes]

hiiiiii. okay :)

yeah i mean. thats the thing, right? what can paris do to make things better? delta is dead from his perspective. justice and atonement wont fall from the sky! theyre impossible to access. the only way he can really see to try and atone for it now is by punishing himself. but more on that in the future :D

you keep calling him adorably pitiful i think that is so cute.... he is !!! his poor sad wet kitten energy. i love him so much </3 youre right to be kinda angry about his missing delta. but again more on that later.

and yes :D !!!! johanna did attend beldam and did get buried alive by them. in like the exact same place that paris started freaking out while on his acid trip. in all fairness, they truly did not mean to bury her alive. they thought they killed her. but her regeneration ability is so intensely powerful that she came back anyway and awoke buried underground. she ended up digging her way out since she couldn't die beneath there, then ended up escaping into the woods. the whole thing was deeply traumatic for her in addition to the psychic injuries she already incurred at beldam.

she's mad that paris triggered the nightmare for her by asking about where she went to school. paris honestly though it was a long shot and was willing to accept that she'd gone to a normal school, but can figure out from what she was muttering in her sleep that she did in fact attend beldam. he knows martino was a doctor there and that she would likely know of him if she didnt know him personally. he was correct. her feelings towards martino are not very positive and she really wanted paris to shut the fuck up about it.

"are you mad at me" is such an insane thing to ask someone whos holding you captive LMFAO. guys hes sensitive.....

and johanna is actually telling the truth about not being able to remember anyones name/callsign. it's also worth mentioning that johanna is seven years older than delta and paris! so at the time she was "killed" and escaped, delta would have only been around five years old. however i do think they interacted! she was allowed to look after some of the younger kids when she was 10 or 11, so she may have been babysitting him at some point. paris might have had more luck if he'd asked if she remembered "the blue one". for what its worth, delta would not remember johanna at all, just because of how young he was and how many of his childhood memories he has repressed. johanna's memories are also kind of fucky. poor kids :(

paris did probe delta with questions about the institute before! delta just doesnt like to talk about it and paris feels guilty whenever he learns too much so those conversations never go anywhere. as you can see, johanna doesn't want to talk about it either...

aw yeah paris is going through it. i think this is the first time he like willingly submits to being hurt because the guilt has truly been eating him alive for a very long time and he doesnt have the addiction to numb it anymore. the only way he really thinks he can endure it is by replacing it w self harm / self punishment. he does need help! hes needed help for a very long time and he has never been given it.

and yeah thats one reason!!! i think shes very pissed off at the fact that paris keeps probing at her own trauma for whats essentially his own guilt/gratification, which ends in her trying to take out all that pent-up anger on him. she's additionally mad that he's crying now and that he "cant handle it" the way she could. but hes really not crying from pain here. its 100% from guilt and shame.

Yeah, Paris, don't you remember how Delta acted 🙄. Just kidding. Actually felt a bit bad for Paris. Fuck him for making me want to give him a hug.

oough every part of that paragraph made me sad :(

and yeah!!! theyre both totally using each other to work through their own issues without having real concern or empathy for each other or themselves!! the pretty obvious subtext here is that both of them were physically abused as children and have unhealed trauma from that - and now they are both triggering and re-traumatizing each other.

hugs for paris ??? hes earned them??? right now he would think you were trying to attack him, but he totally needs them. hes had it rough.

thank you so much for the commentary again :D !!! i always look forward to it. additional final shoutout to shavit for the johanna lore ^_^ we love mentally ill psychic children....

Crash Out - Joey

(Content: past abuse, whumper turned whumpee, beating, implied child abuse, claustrophobia mention, addiction mention, retraumatization, crying, guilt, self harm?, blood, brief weight talk)

Still shaking, still sick, Paris stared up blankly at the ceiling again, for want of anything better to do. The manacles chafed at his bare wrists, leaving a thick band of raw skin beneath. He’d gotten used to it.

“Did you go to a school when you were little?” He asked Johanna without looking at her.

Without looking back from the control panel, she answered: “I’m not that fucking stupid, am I?”

He shook his head — and the movement of the collar caused the chain to click against the tile.

“No. I mean, like, a special one. For psychics.” He explained vaguely. 

“I went to St.Holly’s Prep.” She answered curtly.

“Oh.” He deflated. 

He had hoped for something that might give his life a perfect symmetry. He wanted any sense of justice to fall back on, though he knew well enough not to truly expect it. His hand traced the collar again, taking slow and steady breaths. He breathed easier when he was flat on his back. Any sudden motion made him feel like he might faint, so he didn’t move at all. The lock picks were burning a hole in his pocket.

She’d missed them, somehow. She hadn’t been very deliberate in the pat down — and at this point, he was all angles. His own hipbone had been as hard and as pointed as the metal. 

He did not dare reach for them here in the dead of space. He’d be no better off once he was out of the chains. Paris knew, with total certainty, that he would not beat her in a fight. He didn’t even think he could do it healthy anymore, some new flinch mechanism that made him so tired of hitting and of being hit. He certainly could not do it in the thralls of withdrawal, not with the cracked rib and the hole through his hand. No opportunity presented itself. He was scared to.

The stygian depths appear every time he closed his eyes, dark blue, teeming. He was scared. Some ancient dread was settling onto him, sharp-toothed and feral. He missed Delta. 

It embarrassed him just how badly he missed Delta.

But when he dreamed, mercifully, it was of Lorelai. It was a frozen morning and the last night’s rain had crystallized against the pale bluegrass. Her hair was undone, hanging in limp curls against the fabric of her sweater. It was the last morning before the break. He’d given her clovers and coffee and jasmine perfume. He’d have given her anything, but he knew the wealth humiliated her. It was an affront for either of them to even wear the uniform.

All the same, her fingers had been lined with white gems that morning. They were impossible not to notice as he’d brought her hand up to his lips. He’d have done anything for her then. The memories bled out into the edges of his dreams.

His heart was all the way empty when he awoke. Lorelai was safer without him than she’d ever be with. It was cold comfort. He’d left her alone and limp in the dirt.

There was no day or night to follow, but the ship’s lights had dimmed. Paris thought it was another hallucination, another dream he couldn’t shake — but the soft sound of crying permeated and echoed throughout the ship. His eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness. 

She was whimpering in her sleep.

~

Johanna dreamed of something cold and breathing beneath the soft wet earth. She had the nightmare often. Big walls and little hands. A playful pulsing in each of them, turned violent and mean over time. She smiled because she could, because they always liked her. She smiled too wide and laughed too hard, some screw knocked loose, faulty wiring from having been hit in the head one too many times. A nervous laugh. Wide, pleading eyes.

She dreamt of a small box. She dreamed of a pulsing that grew into a frantic pounding — and a loving flesh that always come backs. It came back her no matter how many times they tried to kill her.

Johanna dreamt of a hole dug deep into the earth. She’s had the same nightmare since she was twelve — and though it gets better, it never really goes away. She woke up with her eyes still blotted with tears and for a minute she had forgotten where she was. 

From across the room, the captive prince stared at her unblinking, and she knew he had heard everything.

~

Several hours later, when they were both wide awake, Paris tried again.

“Did you know Martino?” he asked.

Immediately, he knew it was a mistake. He had about three seconds to flinch before she’d crossed the interior to him and hit him as hard as she possibly could. The intention had clearly been to knock him unconscious, but he’d recoiled fast enough that she mostly struck the side of his jaw. He gasped, sure for a second it’d been broken. There was no time to recover in between the blows. He only shielded his skull as Johanna slammed the cleat into his side, over and over again, breathing heavy. She tore his arms away, gripping the collar’s chain just to slam his head back into the wall, pinning him there.

But Johanna looked so lost. All her anger was thick with confusion. Her eyes searched him, up and down, as if something in his body might tell her.

“How-“ she asked desperately. “Who-“

Paris shivered, retreating, hiding his head again. It hurt. His ribs were so tender he could’ve cried. She released the chain around his neck, staggering a few steps back.

“Don’t say his name again,” she warned.

Paris nodded.

~

“Are you mad at me?” Paris asked. He was stupid and chastened, both knees drawn up to his chest.

Johanna sighed, sitting up against the starboard wall of the ship. She tossed a tennis ball idly, only occasionally glancing at the autopilot to see they were still on course. She did not dignify him with a response. 

“Did you know him? Delta. One Zero Seven.” Paris asked quietly.

It felt like it’d been ages since he’d said his name aloud. The sound of it hovered in the air, seemed to echo in a way the other words had not. He still remembered the numerals that followed, though by the time he first learned them, they’d lost all their usefulness. But to her, those numbers must have meant something. It’d be the only way to distinguish them.

“As if I’d remember any of them.” Johanna rolled her eyes.

Paris quieted, tucking his face back down into his arms. He only peeked up at her as she stood up, moving to check up on the air filter. 

“Do you hate me?” he asked.

He was surprised when she didn’t laugh. She only sighed again, eyes flitted up to the ceiling as if she was considering it.

“I didn’t before. I think I’m starting to.” She decided.

“Is that why?” He looped one finger in the collar, tugging it.

“Nope.”

In return, she tapped one finger to his nose, booping it gently. He still flinched.

“That’s just business.”

~

It ate at him. He turned restlessly within the chains. There was nothing to do and only her for company. She was taking him to be killed, to hurt the whole time he died, to be mutilated and changed. All his future seemed an endless void. All he could focus on was the past.

“What was it like?” he asked. There will be no other opportunities to ask, no other ways to know. He wondered if anyone else who went to that school was even alive anymore. Delta wasn’t. Was Johanna alive, really? 

He looked at her and he could not tell. 

She stood up from the console, visibly irritated at the fact he was still taking. Or maybe she just didn’t like his choice in conversation topic. Either way, he’d pissed her off.

“You want to know what it was like?” She asked incredulously.

He sat up and nodded his head. For a second, she just looked tired. She undid the belt from around her waist.

“Hands out. Now.”

It wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before. He’d gotten his knuckles rapped millions of times, had the cane brought down against each part of his body. None of it ever helped. By the time he graduated, he knew it was more about anger than it ever was about correction. This was no different.

Except that all the previous times, he did not have a knife wound piercing straight through the flesh of his hand. A white bandage had been bound tight around it ever since he’d been rescued. It still held. She’d seen it, of course. She had to have known. She didn’t care. 

They must not have either.

Paris offered both hands without resistance, surprising himself. Would she have forced him to if he hadn’t? For some reason, he didn’t think so. If he wasn’t playing along, he thought, she might just give up.

He held both palms facing upward. It was what he was used to, what he assumed she wanted, and he was willing to turn them if it wasn’t.

The belt was folded over. He kept still.

It was worse than he thought it’d be. He gasped in shock and pain at the sting. He’d been comparing it to the wrong injuries, expecting the wrong kind of pain. The belt hurt his right hand about as badly as when it’d first been punctured, about as bad as an arrow through his fucking ribcage. His eyes watered immediately.

He still tried to be steady as the belt came down against his hands again. Again. Again. He resisted the automatic curling of his fingers in an effort to protect himself. It was really nothing. He’d had so much worse. He didn’t know why he was crying so badly. 

The belt swung again. He only pulled his hand back just to quickly wipe at his eyes. She got mad.

“Paris,” she hissed, exasperated, and he couldn’t remember her ever using his name before this. “I can make this a lot worse for you and you know it.”

“Sorry,” he muttered as he offered the hand back.

Again. Again. He lost track, letting his vision blur just the same as the count. All the nerves in his hand were beaten almost numb, stinging. He couldn’t keep the tremor out of them. 

Johanna grumbled in frustration, pulling the belt back to her side. She was fumbling with the end of it.

“…Are we done?” he asked weakly. 

The belt buckle hit him square in the face, drawing a pained gasp from him. He reeled to the side, barely catching himself. Blood dripped readily from the gash in his cheek. In shock, he moved two finger up to touch it. Wet. Warm. 

“You don’t fucking ask when it’s over.” She barked.

He kept his eyes trained on the ground, half-curled away from her. The impact had whipped his head to the side and he did not correct it. 

He heard her readjusting the belt. For a second, he really did think she was finished. He let himself be fooled twice.

The buckle struck him again in the shoulder. It produced much less of a reaction than the strike to the face did, but he still cried. It was worse when he couldn’t see it, but he knew better than to try and turn around. He twitched at each new impact.

“You don’t understand!” She yelled. It was infantile. And it was wrong. He did.

Then again, he doubted she was even talking to him.

The metal snapped at the bare skin of his arm, once again at his back. He shifted one shoulder up to shield his still-bleeding face and endured the hit for it. It was only then she seemed to tire. It didn’t matter. He was sobbing. Though he tried to do it quietly, there was so little he could focus on besides his own misery. The effort was futile. He hardly noticed whether she was there or not, whether the beating had even stopped.

He tucked himself further into the far wall, unable to stop crying or to even be silent about it. She did not speak to him again for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

thank you to @floral-comet-whump for getting me to canonize Johanna being from Beldam!!! that was always supposed to be the implication w her character but i wasnt sure about making it explicit until they had the idea of her being an experiment that beldam tried to kill and ended up BURYING ALIVE. that was too tasty to leave as subtext >:)

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @whump-queen

[casualavocados]

You've never done that when I got close to you before. Why? None of your business. Tell me, or you can't leave.

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10

[s0fter-sin]

one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules

the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)

almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)

they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning

(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)

even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)

so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim

it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character

the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring

we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)

it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other

sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother

[lokh]

also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.

[al-luviec]

Thinking about how the entire reason Zane went along with Wu was to try to find out more about his past. Thinkinggg about how he reached his true potential after finding his father's workshop. A big chunk of his character arc in s2 focused on how badly having no family left affected him. Then he found out how father was alive and he was sooo happy... and then his father died. And then Zane died too.

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[triglycercule]

all i have been able to think about today is that silly little knife game where you stab the spots between your fingers and try not to hurt yourself and how that silly little game is SO horrorkiller. i cant explain it it bothers me so much that i cant explain it but it just does its so them

they play it when theyre bored. because when in doubt bodily mutilation and the risk of hurt and pain is always an appealing one. and when i mean they i just mean killer because horror wouldn't wanna just hurt himself on the fly like that for funsies. he likes to see others hurt because hahaha FINALLY some damn entertainment!!! but hurting himself???? nononnno hes already got enough body pain as it is oh and killer has already grabbed his hand and started playing (and now horror can't back out because killer's got him sucked in the game)

they sing the silly little song. horror has all his fingers the knife goes chop chop chop if killer misses the spaces in between horror's fingers will come off! and they are both enraptured and both captured in this childishly morbid game. it's so anticipatory because they both know its all up to killer to decide if horror gets hurt. hes more than precise enough to keep the game going for hours long without ever hitting horror but would he want to keep it going for that long? horror doesn't know how long killer would want to wait before getting to see him react to getting hurt

and killer does eventually do it even after theyre sung the song over and over countless times and tried different harmonies and finally killer decides to end this little song and dance and stab into horror's hand. maybe he decides to do a finger. maybe the palm if he really wants to piss horror up. its sudden its surprising and GODDAMN is it painful!!!! horror's trying not to show it but with all the sweat and the way his fingers are twitching killer can see that it hurts him. it's a bit amusing :3

and then horror grabs the knife from killer and they do it all over again but this time horror's the one doing the stabbing. he's not as precise as killer. he hits him a lot more than killer hit him but goddamn it he is in PAIN and wants to let it out because hes annoying and irritated and goddamnit would killer just stop looking at him with that blank smile while he's bleeding out from his hand???? yeah horror's pissy

horror's annoyed and trying to get some form of petty revenge on killer (he likes it when he finally manages to get that stupid smile to falter just a little bit) and killer's watching horror desperately try not to just stab the knife through his oh so very exposed soul that he could very easily hurt if he really wanted to hurt killer. anyways the game finally ends when either one or both of them get bored! but thats fine!!! killer will get bored again and horror will end up escalating it to a messier point than it was before and the only thing that'll get hurt is the surface that they use to stab between fingers. oh and eachother of course :p

[professionaljester]

love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time

[sidesteppostinghours]

pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.

[sonknuxadow]

sorry for complaining about people getting fleetway super sonic wrong again but i dont really get the personality people give him thats like . silly goofy trickster type villain whos super manipulative and calculated and likes playing mind games and stuff . because from what i remember he was not doing much of that he just liked biting and scratching and killing and does it very impulsively also

[martyrbat]

habeas corpus – detective comics #1086

(ID in alt!)

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage